I feel so wasteful of my time. I try to get up in the morning and do something, yet it doesn't really happen. I know there is nothing wrong with it, but the rest of my day consists of me worrying about making it to the damn gym. I know I want to go, but my knee has been really discouraging me lately. I pushed a little too hard and BAM! I'm fucked for 5 days. I hate being injured, but I really hate no longer being a part of a team. Fuck! I just need to get back into a rhythm. I need to stop hating the treadmill/elliptical or whatever cardio piece I find myself on. Why does it have to be so cold outside? I just want my beach to walk on again.
At least I have a new hobby to keep me busy. Unfortunately all I keep thinking to myself is that I need to spend less time in the damn sculpture studio and more time in the gym. The problem is that the studio doesn't hurt my knee and frustrate me like the fucking gym. Between my knee and my back I feel completely useless most of the time. At this point I don't really dare play something, hell I almost take out my knee walking on the damn ice everyday.
Ok, well there is what has become my rant. I'm going to hit the hay. My head hurts and my eyes are closing while I'm writing this. If I get sick I will kill someone.
Fuck my life, it's too cold to snow.
Song of the Post: Killswitch Engage- The Arms Of Sorrow
Imprisoned inside this mind
Hiding behind the empty smiles
So simple (the anguish)
As it haunts me
Crawling back into the dark
Running, always running, into the distance
Stop me before I bleed, again
The echoes of my voice
Follow me down
The shadows I cast
Follow me down
Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow
There must be serenity
The echoes of my voice
Follow me down
The shadows I cast
Follow me down
Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow
The demon of my own design
This horror must not remain
Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow
There must be serenity
There must be deliverance
Deeper I'm falling
Blindly descending
Imprisoned inside this mind
Hiding behind the empty smiles
So simple (the anguish)
As it haunts me
Crawling back into the dark
Running, always running, into the distance
Stop me before I bleed, again
The echoes of my voice
Follow me down
The shadows I cast
Follow me down
Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow
There must be serenity
The echoes of my voice
Follow me down
The shadows I cast
Follow me down
Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow
The demon of my own design
This horror must not remain
Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow
There must be serenity
There must be deliverance
Deeper I'm falling
Blindly descending
2 comments:
i just saw your comment today. sorry i suck at this blogging thing.
you used to play football? what position?
and you're trying to get into med school... i'm in med school right now, if you need advice, ask.
you seem straight. you found me through erik rhodes. how did you end up there? (i guess you could ask me the same thing.)
feel free to e-mail me, percyblakeney1@gmail.com
ps, just read the rest of your posts... i think we have a few things in common: the "nice guy" thing, the attraction to attractive people, the need to listen and take on other people's burdens... i'm there with you, man. write me anytime.
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