I Did The Right Thing And I Still Feel Like Shit...

If I'm nice does it show continued interest? If I'm mean is it just jealousy?

I hate that they have each other, in front of my face and I am left alone. Here I am again. Just flailing and trying to keep it together. I know I can't hate him for not liking me, I don't. I hate him for making my life so difficult only to turn around and show me how easy it is for him to be with someone if he is also interested. It hurts that I was stupid enough to fall in his trap and now I have my face rubbed in it, like a dog that just pissed the carpet. Had he just let me know what the rules were, where I stood I could deal with it. Yet, Here I am. No closure. It's a bit too late to ask where we stand (I'm not that stupid or naive to hold on to hopes of us), but a simple explanation of everything that lead up to this point. Just throw me a fucking rope that isn't around my neck for once. I feel like everything I do is the wrong choice. If I talk to him I feel like I'm just talking to a wall, an awkward wall at that. If I ignore him I feel like an asshole for not talking to him. I feel like he's so beyond over it, he has a boy and a puppy (which is super cute btw, that's what filled a lot of my time at the BBQ). I'm sure I'm the last thing on his mind. I have my pillow and a growing empty pit in my heart. I am starting to feel a bit hopeless and bitter, which is never a good place to be in your psyche. You might say and do things you never meant to, because discipline can only win out for so long. I can only pretend like he's not an asshole who jerked me around and deserves a good beating (physical or emotional) for so long. There sadly is never a good time to call someone out who has emotionally wronged you and then left you for someone else...

Yeah I know it's stupid
But I just got to see it for myself

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her
I'm right over here, why can't you see me
I'm givin' it my all, but I'm not the girl you're takin' home
I keep dancin' on my own

This song got me through a similar situation almost 5 years ago. I feel like this won't be the last time I turn to Sevendust for a little healing.

There's not one thing that you can say to make it right
Unless you say "I'm leavin"
And if you're not...then please tell me why
Please tell me why you can't
Save face
Say it to my face

Been listening to this too lately. I like the remix better, but couldn't find it so...