In my first blog I mentioned speaking to two people. One I couldn't work up the nerve for and the other I couldn't tell how I truly felt. Since then I have done just that. I finally im'd one and told the other my true feelings. The first encounter went fine with the one. It was the confession that has become the bane of my existence. Unfortunately, but not completely, I was drunk and confessed via AIM. She knew I was drunk, but I don't think she knows that I meant every word of it. I had been planning on doing exactly what I did. She's leaving the country for a few months in two weeks, so my timing was perfect as usual. I pretty much made a complete fool of myself. I expressed myself about as eloquently as a four year old. I put my heart out and I think it scared her.
The good news is we both played it off the next morning. She told me how drunk I was, but there was no mention of my emotional acrobatics. I am pretty sure I am in love with this girl. I have done everything except explicitly say those 3 words that we all wish someone would say to us, but are just as universally afraid of the consequences. It is so utterly pathetic that fear can keep us from what we want most. I'll leave it on that thought for now.
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