Double Life

There is my life as it is and then my life on the internet. Being isolated away from the world for almost 2 years has really brought the contrast to my attention. The weird part is lately I've been developing a growing distaste for my life as it stands right now floating in the middle of the ocean. The people here I will pretty much never see again. Now I know why no one would want to date me in the months leading up to me leaving the real world. I have no patience for anything here anymore. I don't really care about the people, the drama, the bullshit. The problem is I can't just hole up in my room everyday (like I have been as of late). I get depressed and lonely and there is only so much interaction I can deal with via a computer. I want to be done so we can say "Keep in touch, maybe I'll see you in the states" and move on with my life. I have swings where I'm fine being here and even content in reality, but there are moments where I just want to breakdown and cry in the loneliness. I know med school is tough, but add isolation to it and you're giving someone the perfect cocktail for depression. I'm not clinically depressed by any means, but I have plenty of moments where I just want to be anywhere except this place. School I can deal with, this island is slowly trying to break me (and it's become a battle not to let it win).